Dropping out of college & my HORRIBLE experience.

The beginning of this post might seem a little repetitive because its going to seem similar to my other post called How I Became An Esthetician- College dropout?!? So if you’ve read that post then you may recall the first half of this story, but I’m going to tell it anyways for the people that haven’t read that one. Okay, lets start from the beginning.

When I was a junior in high school and started thinking about college, I knew I wanted to get as far away from my home town as possible, which was the upper-middle class suburb of a huge metropolitan area. My parents were divorcing, and all the resentment I had towards my father ever since I was little was finally coming out and I couldn’t even look at him without fuming with anger. I wanted no part of it like I said, wanted to be as far away as possible. Welp, that didn’t exactly work out for me because I wasn’t the best student. I hated school work, I thought it was so stupid that I was learning things I had no interest in, and that these random people had decided what I was going to learn and what was acceptable to be able to graduate. School for me was never the be all end all to life. It made it even more miserable if I had a teacher with a thick accent that I couldn’t understand WHILE trying to learn a subject I wasn’t paying attention in to begin with. So I was an average C student. I had no idea that being a C student wouldn’t get me anywhere but community college, until I got denied from every single school I applied to.

I was so desperate to get away because going to community college would mean I would have to continue living at home and no way was I going to do that. One night, while I was eating dinner at home, the phone rang. It was Ferrum College and they were literally RECRUITING  people to apply to their school. That should have been my first red flag. They said they wanted me to apply and they had an amazing program blah blah blah. So I did some research and the reviews were awful, but they said that they accepted everybody. Regardless of what my gut told me, I knew this would be my ticket out of here. I applied, and got accepted, and got issued a roommate. This girl seemed nice, We had absolutely nothing in common, but she seemed nice. She was from Richmond, had never heard of NOVA (northern virginia) and had about 100 facebook friends…So we talked most of the summer before college about who was going to bring what and just getting to know each other. Until she stopped answering me. Stopped talking completely. this was my second red flag.

We hadn’t spoken in a month when move in day was upon us. Of course, she was a no show. Now I had no roommate and I was at a new school that I was already sure I was going to hate. I had also heard a story on move in day, of a guy who moved OUT on move in day. Apparently he had driven all the way down with his parents, got there, realized it was horrible, and drove all the way home.. 3rd red flag…I was by myself at the freshman orientation which gave me insane anxiety, but I actually made a friend! her name was Meghan and I grew some balls and asked if she wanted to go grocery shopping with me afterwards. She said yes and asked if her roommate could come too ( she had skipped the orientation due to anxiety) Of course I said yes, and I picked the up after the event. Oh yeah, freshman could have cars at this school because it was literally in the middle of no where and it took about 25 mins to drive to any sort of civilization. NOBODY went to this school by the way. Im serious. It was a private methodist school (im not even religious) with about 2,300 students. If you went there, you were either a townie like from the movie Deliverance, or an athlete who wanted to play D3 sports. If you didn’t fall into either of those categories, you didn’t belong there.

Monica and I instantly clicked, and surprise surprise, she was from the exact same area I was from so we ended up having a lot of mutual friends. The three of us were inseparable until Meghan started going a little crazy, then it was just me and Monica. So I had one friend, at a horrible school. Not off to a good start.. THEN, I had suitemates. I shared a bathroom with the dorm next to me, and they were horrible. They we’re so mean to me and snobby and I hated even being in my room because I was alone, and because they made it soo uncomfortable… ALSO.. one time I was in the cafeteria and I saw one of the lunch ladies eating dry cereal with her bare hands out of the bag,  then pouring the rest of the bag into a cereal machine. I about died. I never ate there again, which I don’t know why I even ate there in the first place because the food was soooo bad. I’m telling you guys, this school was a nightmare. There was one gas station across the street from the school called Pappys. Everything at this gas station was expired. Every drink, every snack, everything that had an expiration date was expired. I became so depressed from being at this shit hole that I stopped going to my classes. I was driving the 5 hours home almost every weekend, and I was completely nocturnal. I would stay up until 6am and then sleep until 4pm. I was so unhappy and I knew something had to change. I didn’t have a plan but I knew I had to get out immediately.

I told my parents I was going to drop out, and my mom was completely supportive because she knew how unhappy I had been. My dad on the other hand told me that if I didn’t graduate from college or at least stay for a year and then transfer, then I was going to go no where in life. He told me verbatim “I’m so much smarter than you and I know whats best for you, stay in school or you will be nothing.” Obviously this hit me hard because he was my dad was supposed to love me and support me unconditionally right? wrong. I didn’t care though, I got my withdraw papers signed as soon as possible, and my mom came down the day of my winter break to move me home. I think since my grades had been so bad, that I was on restriction anyways and wasn’t allowed to return for the spring semester, so it all worked out lol. I had never felt so relieved in my life. I felt like a whole new person. The second we drove off campus a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt like I could breathe again. I couldn’t thank my mom enough for being there for me. I will forever be grateful that I have such a loving and supportive mother who I know will always be my biggest fan and believe in me no matter what. I had such a terrible experience there, that every time I think about it, my stomach starts to hurt. I would never recommend this school to anybody. Not even athletes, or anybody who is as desperate as I was for the college experience. Don’t waste your time… In case you’re wondering, Monica dropped out too about a month after I did, her and I still keep in touch. Meghan stayed, and ended up having other roommates who eventually moved out because she wasn’t very sane. Everything happens for a reason, and had I stayed, I probably wouldn’t be where I am now. Oh yeah.. after my dad realized I could make an incredibly good living being a medical Esthetician, all of the sudden he was “so proud” of me. So what have we learned from this story? follow your dreams. never second guess yourself. and despite what others say, always do whats best for you in order for you to be happy.

 

xoxo